This might sound like a bit of a vent but I would like to put my thoughts out to my online diary. Of course, I am grateful to be able to live a busy life with a solid path mapped out in my university career etc but when it overtakes the simple pleasures you can realise how much you take for granted.
Lately, my life has been cluttered with commitments. Be those university commitments, dancing commitments, family commitments or generally life tasking me. I tend to be an organised person and usually I am on top of my diary, using it simply as a back up and knowing most of my dates in my head already but recently, my diary has been a massive safety net as I struggle to remember even what day it is nevermind what I have to do in that day with the workload I’m currently under.
I would say I am a little bit stressed which is unusual for me this early on in the year.
Although there are many places I can feel relaxed, I’ve learned that the two places I feel truly at peace are the shower or sauna. I love being alone sometimes and these places allow me quiet and ambience where I need not think about anything at all, and personally I think it is nice to have empty thoughts every once in a while. My last few times in these places, I’ve been unable to relax with subject topics ranging from molecular formulas and equations running through my mind for upcoming chemistry exams or mentally dancing to remember choreographies and scattered, incomplete diary information which I wish I could remember. I’m trying to power through these last few weeks of uni for some of the heavy workload to be lifted and so I can be reunited with peace and relaxation and quiet thoughts that I am missing so very much. For me, it is easy to take for granted in busy times things that make me happy such as going to the sauna and not having any cares but I am determined to always make time for myself no matter how busy I may be. Whether crowded thoughts haunt my head or not, I still have to take an hour out of my week to at least try relaxing and this is my favourite way to do so. I am oprimistic that things will perk up again in a few weeks. Until then, I will remain sleep deprived and thought clustered.
This post was written quite haphazardly but I feel better for putting my thoughts to words.